已经是第二次梦到复合了

四年半的点点滴滴，不可能忘记的一干二净。

如同刚刚分手，我认为可以接受，但潜意识和各种生理不断的鞭笞我的肉体和精神。

现在的我又有同样的困境。我不愿回头，可是那些梦总是回到夜晚给我欢喜，在白日给我折磨。

这份爱源起一个梦，结束于一个梦，她就是一个梦

我一直劝说自己，不要爱上任何人，不要付出太多的感情

只是不再相信

就如同《恋爱的犀牛》里说的一样“爱情多美好，可是不堪一击”

经历了之后，发现自己已经不再年轻，不再冲动，不再幻想，不再憧憬那美丽的爱情，甚至不再相信自己会找到那个她。

三十亿中，最终你只会和她一个死守终生，可有的时候，她却变得那么的难以寻觅。

爱情让我迷失了自我，最初的理想，爱好，被所谓的“家庭”而取代，被曾经的她所左右。虽有不快乐，却乐此不疲。失落之后的，虽未绝望，但茫然一片。原本为“家庭”奋斗的理想像胀大的泡沫一样瞬间破裂，迸溅的一塌糊涂。

那段往事，虽曾不愿想起，但却难以忘记。洗去那纹身，也许要经过十个疗程的激光治疗。

f word

I dont know what the hell is wrong with me. All the sudden I search "shit" and "f-word" in my gmail. The only f-word is from my talk with her. I reviewed, found how sweet that is. Even it is f-word, it touched me.

I do not want to be a pathetic loser who will cherish the woman dumped me.

Be strong, man.

about the dream

I dreamed her. I dreamed I was with her again. She was laying on my arm. I felt the happiness I have not had for a long time. I asked myself in the dream, I have decided to never be together again. What the fuck is wrong with me? I have to keep my promise, I have to insist my decision. I woke up finally in the morning!